If I were the Devil

By Dave Leach

If I were the Devil, I can’t imagine being more pleased with my strategies for keeping Christian light under its bushel so it can’t shine on my culture!

Since my agenda is to have the people of every nation ruled by the worst possible tyrants that the people will tolerate –

1 Samuel 8:7 — [By rejecting freedom, preferring a dictator,] they have rejected me, that I should not reign over them.

– my first priority would be to get the citizens with the most light, in the freest of nations, to hold their “church” under a bushel dark enough to keep their light from shining on their nation.

And what greater cause could I have for laughter and merriment, were I the devil, than to get these Christians to justify their bushel with spiritual sounding Noninvolvement Theologies that rarely, if ever, quote the Bible! And to present their Noninvolvement Theologies with my favorite sin: Pride!

First, I would invent the Jehovah’s Witnesses, which reverences almost the same Bible as other churches but which was born with a heavily entrenched Noninvolvment Theology against voting, or serving in the military.

Then, I would work to spread that Noninvolvement Theology across America’s churches for the next 70 years, until 1953 when I could find a senator corrupt enough to put in the IRS code something that made it seem illegal for a church to let its light shine on the nation. Then I would build on that for the rest of the century until only a few churches were left whose pastors occasionally preach what God says about the sins which government has chosen to protect and promote, and none are left whose members are welcome to discuss how to organize against the sins identified by their pastors – because that would “offend” church members who don’t agree with their pastors, and who still vote for their government to promote those sins. Much less are members welcomed to discuss what God says about political details not addressed by their pastors, and to try to agree, and to organize action to do something about them.

But all that work still leaves a small number of Christians committed in their opposition to some government protected sin. How to neutralize them? Ah! I would invent the “Lesser of Two Evils” theology! Brilliant! I would give them all kinds of spiritual sounding logic that would relieve them of having to ever get out their Bibles in its defense!

God’s goal in 1 Samuel 8 was the most righteous leadership the people would tolerate.

1 Samuel 8 — Israel insists that God take away their freedom and give them a dictator (I’m not making this up!)

My goal as the Devil is the most wicked leadership the people will tolerate. In other words God’s goal was “the lesser of two evils”, and mine is “the greater of two evils”. By getting God’s people to refuse to vote for “the lesser of two evils”, they are out of the way of my voters for “the greatest of all evils”. Perfect!

Even their sermons and messages are made so much easier for their nation to ignore, because they make themselves politically irrelevant! That is, they sever the link between words and actions. As the saying goes, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” My people, (speaking as the Devil), could care less what God’s people say, so long as it remains just talk, and they never do anything that might hamper government’s freedom to promote all my favorite sins!

In fact, my long range goal is to silence everyone who makes the least bit of sense, so that atheist evolution climate change cross dressing Democrats are the only ones left talking!

Oh, what fun I would have with my Noninvolvement Theologies!

I would tell God’s light-bearers that Jesus never got involved in politics, even though 45% of Jesus’ teachings, in the book of Matthew, witnessed directly to Palestine’s politicians, “lobbying” them to change a wide variety of their laws. (“Jesus never got involved in politics?!”)

I would tell them that politics is not part of the Gospel, even though all of God’s Examples of Faith in Hebrews 11 were either political leaders or they got into the Bible through their interaction with political leaders! (“Politics isn’t part of the Gospel?!”)

I would whisper to them that “there isn’t a dime’s worth of difference between the two major candidates anyway.” They are both sinners, babies will die under either one, and Obama’s agenda of destroying America through abortion is matched by Romney’s agenda of destroying America through even crueler immigration restrictions. Their similarities render insignificant their differences – Obama has terrorists for advisers, many more babies will die under him, he promotes numerous other sins threatening America, and as Commander in Chief he has vowed to support Moslems when their interests collide with America’s.

Of course no one thinks that the fact that all men are sinners (Romans 3:10-18) makes it matter not who becomes their pastor. Yet. That will be my next project.

I would tell them that 1 Timothy 2:1-2 tells Christians to pray, pray, pray, and pray, and never physically communicate with political leaders, or even with each other to agree on what goals we ought to pray for, even though the verse actually lists three other actions defined as communications both with God and men –

1 Timothy 2:1-2 …supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks…be made…[so the government will leave us alone]

– and even though Matthew 18:19 says one of the keys to answered prayer is Christians praying for the same thing, so that our prayers are not at war with each other. “…if two of you shall agree…as touching any thing that they shall ask…” requires discussion of what those two want God to do.

Matthew 18:19 …if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in Heaven.

As the Devil, I know Christians wildly differ in their vision of what government ought to do, making it impossible for God to answer their contradictory requests, which is one of the meanings of James 1:6-8.

James 1:6-8 “…ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth…shall [not] receive any thing…

So I would tell them the reason they should not allow discussion about their wildly contradictory goals for government is because the discussion would be “controversial”, which would violate 2 Controversies 3:16.

And the best part, the most fun, of all this, for me, if I were the Devil? Most of God’s light-bearers believe me!

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Discuss: “If I were the Devil”

  1. November 4, 2012 at 3:38 pm #

    Hey Dave – THANKS for mentioning me in YOUR artical – but your mention – IS MISPLACED – as I do NOT believe in EITHER gods OR devils !!!!!!!! Dave – you REALLY DON’T understand much about Atheism DO you ????? Atheism – WITHOUT GODS or DEVILS !!!!!!!!

    So Dave – you want to do away WITH the Tax Exempt Status that Churches and other Religious thingies enjoy with a 501 (c)(3) status. ON THIS, Dave – I AGREE WITH YOU !!!!!

    Let’s END the Tax Exempt Status for Churches and other Religious thingies – and HAVE THEM PAY TAXES – for Fire Protection – Police Protection – Street Improvements – Sewer Improvements – and the thousands of other things that TAXES PAY FOR.

    LET the Churches Speak OUT – ALL THEY WANT – and Have the Churches TAXED – just like EVERYONE ELSE who speaks out !!!!!!!!!!!

    Dave – YOU and I are in agreement – about Religious thingies SPEAKING OUT AND PAYING TAXES !!!!!!!!!!!

    Posted by Robert Allen
  2. November 5, 2012 at 5:08 pm #

    Looks like Ol’ Dave peters out (so to speak) on this conversation involving his rather limp opening remarks.

    Just sayin’

    Posted by Robert Allen
  3. January 5, 2013 at 9:28 pm #

    Looks like Ol’ Dave – STILL doesn’t have anything to say – about taxing Reigious thingies !!!!

    Just commentin’

    Robert Allen

    Posted by boba123

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